A Love Letter to My Late Husband and Fellow Jesus Geek

Happy Anniversary Honey! :D, I know you don’t get e-mail in Heaven, but I’m hoping you can still read this since Hebrews 12:1 says we’re surrounded by a cloud of witnesses, the saints who went on before us. I know you felt like your halo was bent a lot of the time when you were on earth, but you were still a saint the way you put up with all of my quirks. I thought you’d like this picture of me in the snow. Can you believe this photo was taken in Ukiah?! I remember how much you missed the snow from growing up in the Midwest, even driving in it. That’s the one thing you couldn’t get used to living in California. But you loved your California girl, didn’t you? Tim, I sure miss you, the way you made me laugh, the way you could light up a room with your smile. I know, I know, I’m using a lot of cliches, here, but you really did have this amazing magnetic personality that just drew people in, myself included. You’ve been in Heaven over twenty years and I still think about you all the time, you had such a strong impact on me, even though I only knew you about seven years. And yet, I see your effect on my life to this day. When we met, I wasn’t serving the Lord. I wasn’t a rip-roaring atheist by any means, but I had walked away from God and hadn’t attended church for years, but you didn’t judge me. You just let me talk about what we had in common, Star Trek, and before I knew it, I was in love. It didn’t matter you were HIV positive. It didn’t matter you wanted me to go to church with you. I just wanted to be with you. So through you I got right with God. Some would find it hard to believe that God could use someone who struggled with bisexuality to get bring me back, but God knew who I would listen to. God knew I ran away from Him because I experienced judgement and criticism in God’s house and He knew that you were the last person to judge anyone. God knew I would serve and love Him with every fiber of my being, if I were only led gently and lovingly and you LOVED and cherished me. Even when I rejected you for a time, you waited patiently and was willing to be friends until I realized I was still in love with you. We didn’t take a long time to get married after that, did we? We had a beautiful, if not very impromptu, wedding on the beach at sunset. Other than family, everyone in attendance, even the minister who married us, were members of our local Star Trek fan club chapter. It was definitely a geek-a-palooza. It’s hard to believe it’s been twenty-five years since our wedding day. Married life wasn’t always easy, but having had two failed marriages since you went to Heaven, I realize just how loving and understanding you were. A few years ago, long after you died, I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and ADHD. Looking back, I know both of those problems affected my personality, but you never complained about my personality quirks. You accepted and loved me just the way I was and that gave me one of the best lessons about Christian living. As important as it was that you got me attending church and reading my Bible, you made sure I learned that the love of God was real and that it was important I share that love. I hope I’m making you proud of me. I’m still active in church and that the work I do is the fruit of the seeds you planted in me. I also know you would love how God has been able to use my blog to share the Gospel using science fiction. Lord knows that tactic worked on me ;). Tim, I miss you so very much and I think about seeing you in Heaven one day, but I’m not asking God to shorten my tour of duty down here. You trained me too well for that, but please know I do look forward to seeing you face to face! All my love, Ariel P.S. PLEASE say “Hi!” to Jesus and the angels for me. 🙂

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8 thoughts on “A Love Letter to My Late Husband and Fellow Jesus Geek

    1. Thank you so much, Zee! I posted these feelings because I wanted to share how my faith in Christ took the sting out of grief. As you can see, I still miss Tim dearly. However, its the pain of temporary separation I feel, NOT permanent loss. Interestingly enough, it was because Tim reconnected me with my faith that I’ve been able to deal with the death of Tim’s body.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ah there is a purpose to everything that ever happens in our lives, Everything happens for a reason which drives us to our ultimate destiny as you have realized this now.

        Lots of love and warm hugs your way,
        Zee ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Dear Zee, thank you for your encouragement. As you read in my piece, “I’m Not Letting Go,” I believe this planet is a battle ground with God on one side and the devil on the other and there isn’t anything the devil can do that God can’t turn around for His purpose. Tim opened the door to illness and death, but God has been faithful. He’s taken care of me and healed my heart and now I’m able to comfort others who have lost loved ones as well. Once again, thank you for your interest, your love and support. 🙂
        Ariel

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, that’s what “Confessions of a Jesus Geek” is all about, spreading the love of Jesus. It’s also my way of keeping connected to Tim because its just sort of thing he would of have loved, using technology to spread the Gospel. 😀

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